Sunday, September 28, 2014
Thinking Inside the Box — Tweeted Mystery "The Golden Parachute" Continues!
Here are Week 88 @Twitstery tweets of The Golden Parachute, the amazing new sequel to Executive Severance!
"Or how about the Fire Department?" "I don't want the Demolition Squad or the Fire Department! Break it down! Put your shoulders to it!"
They look at each other and run at the door. They bounce off, grabbing their shoulders. "Oww!" Rixey says "Put your other shoulders to it!"
I say "Rixey, I have a suggestion." "What?" "Why don’t you use your head?" "That depends. Are you speaking literally or metaphorically?"
Regi says "I understand why he suspended you from the force." "Why is that?" "You make everyone else look bad." Rixey says "I heard that."
"Sure, flatter your boyfriend who isn't fit to wear a badge." "It wasn't flattery and so what if he's my boyfriend?" I say "I'm right here."
Rixey says "OK smart guy. How would you get inside?" I say "Simple. Your perp sequestered inside an impenetrable stronghold." "Obviously."
"You can't go in by force." "That remains to be seen." "You can't contact him." "Apparently not." "You can't walk away." "Not at this point"
"You have no acceptable alternative." "No." "So you can stand out here until Farley decides to come out on his own or you can coax him out."
"Arkaby, we can't do either." "That is your strategic error." "What is?" "Your problem is you're trying to think outside the box." "What?"
"You're thinking outside the box that is Farley's safe room. You won't solve your problem that way. You must learn to think inside the box."
"If you want to confront Granger you must make him come to you." "How do I do that? Smoke him out? Flood him out?" "No. Flush him out."
"What do you mean?" "Concierge, does Farley Granger's sanctuary have bathroom facilities?" "No." "That's your answer. We flush him out."
"We wait for him to come out for a bathroom break? That is the dumbest idea you've ever had." One of Rixey's cops says "Makes sense to me."
"Nobody asked you!" The other cop says "Do you have a better idea? I say we guard this door and grab him when he opens it to take a leak."
"And what if he doesn't come out? Maybe he's gone survivalist and doesn't need to use plumbing." Regi says "So where does he go?" "Depends."
"Depends on what?" "I mean he may be wearing an adult diaper." "An adult diaper? Why would he do that…oh. You think he may be incontinent?"
"No! He uses a diaper because his safe room doesn't have any plumbing." "In that case not very safe." Rixey says "Can we get on with it?"
"I won't order my men to stake out a potential pissant survivalist firearm assailant." "I don't think pissant means what you think it means"
"I know what it means." "I don't think so." Rixey says to his cops "Don't look so smug. Go get whatever you have to break down this door."
The cops take off. Rixey says "Pissant means a know-it-all, full of piss and vinegar." "You should know." "You're walking a very thin line."
"No, I'm standing still." "I order you to stand down." "One of these days you'll go too far and I intend to be standing there when you do."
(The Twitter Mystery continues daily at @Twitstery)