Sunday, June 1, 2014

Statue? - "The Golden Parachute" Continues!

Here are Week 71 @Twitstery tweets of The Golden Parachute, the amazing new sequel to Executive Severance!

I read the inscription on the base of the statue: "This hall is dedicated to our founder, Willum Granger. Often duplicated, never imitated."

Here is a picture of the statue of Willum Granger: Now this was a giant Sequoia of a man!

Not content with running Lavender Blue Dilly Dilly, his perfume-bluecoal-pickle-pickle conglomerate, he founded a edge-cutting cloning lab.

He called his cloning lab "Body Parts R Us" and performed genome-bending experiments on his own DNA. I thought he merely sought eternal life

In truth he pursued powers to fight a paradigm altering assault on our reality. His efforts were cut short by an insubordinate subordinate.

Severed by fast-dissolving sutures and a race track tune, Granger's remains lie, rejoined and under the microscope, in an adjacent surgery.

Due to some curious consequence of his self-genomic tampering, his body is immune to normal bio-reclamation processes: He doesn't decay.

As we contemplate Granger's post-mortem immortality in bronze, a dark figure steps out from behind the statue. My God! It's Granger himself!

He stands in eerie facsimile beside his statue. Dark hair trimmed, suit pressed, shoes recently shined. A pigeon rests on his raised phone.

Also an excellent likeness. The only departure is he has no mustache. And, of course, he is alive and the statue is not. He's alive! ALIVE!

I stare in horror at Granger's doppelgänger. Is he risen, not in a good Christian, 3-days-later way, but rather as a Frankenstein's monster?

Why isn't he still dead meat on two slabs? Who executed this dead man walking? I feel a little green myself. Can't he let me rest in peace?

Last time I thought he was a ghost! Now I'm not sure. Has he come back to challenge me with more knock-knock jokes? I'm not ready for that.

I must discover who he is! I whisper to Regi "Knock knock." "Who's there?" she replies. “Is that your father?” “Is that your father, who?”

Regi doesn't know either. I'm stumped. I swear I will find out who he is if it takes everything I've got and the rest of my life to do it!

Regi says "Hello Uncle Farley. What are you doing here?" "Hello Regi. Didn't you know? Since your father's death, I've managed his affairs."

That took less time than I thought. Still, I must be sure this apparition before me is not some undigested bit of beef or crumb of cheese.

I whisper to Regi "This guy is your uncle?" "This is my father's twin brother, Farley." Can my doppelgänger be Willum Granger's evil twin?

"YOU run things? I thought Drs. Dot and Dash direct this lab and B heads LBDD." "No, I'm in charge of it all, as per my brother's will."

"B, Dot and Dash? Everyone answers to you? They've been a thorn in my side since the beginning." "Well, I am the power behind the thorn."

"Can I see some ID?" He shows employee IDs from Body Parts R Us and Lavender Blue Dilly Dilly. Under "Role" on his IDs it just says "Boss."

(The Twitter Mystery continues daily at @Twitstery)

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