Sunday, November 24, 2013

End the Twitter Fiction Filibuster! - The Golden Parachute Continues!

Here are Week 44 @Twitstery tweets of The Golden Parachute, the amazing new sequel to Executive Severance!

The IVR says "I have your party now." "Dot?" "Arkaby?" "What would you say if I told you I possess the immortal remains of Willum Granger?"

"I'd say it's the first time the dead have been possessed by the living and you need to let Willum Granger rest in peace. Where are you?"

"I'm near Bob Marley Medical School in the Caribbean. Granger's body is proof of trafficking in illegal cadavers. We need to get him home.

David sticks his head in the door. "Boss, we gotta go." "One minute. Dot, I need you to get us clearance to bring the body back home."

"Boss, we got company coming up the road. The sun is up. Let's go." "Right. Where are we flying?" "I got gas to get us to Puerto Rico."

"Dot, we're bringing Granger's body into Luis Muñoz Marín International. Meet us there with the paperwork." "Arkaby, why should I help you?"

"A crime has been committed." "Don't care." "A grave has been desecrated." "Not interested." "A legacy has been tarnished." "No great loss."

"I'm talking about YOUR legacy." "Huh?" "You don't know then?" "Know what?" "Granger's body is completely intact." "After four years?" "Yep"

"Nuts! Nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky." "Don’t hang up! Whatever you BP R U guys did to him he refuses to be dust in the wind."

"We're not in Kansas anymore." "That’s The Eagles." "No. Kansas. How will you fly Granger's body to Puerto Rico?" "Carry-on my wayward son."

"Indeed he is. Granger's body is really imperishable?" "Yes. His freshness is locked in, without the Tupperware." "OK. This I want to see."

"I'll be in Puerto Rico with papers." "Look for a big yellow air taxi to take away my dead man." Regi says "It's amazing watching you work."

David sticks his head in again. "Boss, it's now or never." I give Regi her phone and we hoof it outside. "This is your plane?" Regi says.

"You're kidding, right?" We stand beside David's dual prop air taxi. Granger's body bag rests in the bow cargo bay.

Regi says "I'm not flying in that." "Hasn't crashed yet." David replies. "Can I see your pilot's license?" David hands his wallet to Regi.

"This expired in 1987." "It's a classic, like me." While Regi and David negotiate, I notice two Humvees entering the airfield. "Umm, Guys."

"That's my drivers license. My pilot license expired in 2003." "How is that better?" The Humvees stop and armed men step out. "Guys..."

David says 'Uh oh!" Regi says "Yikes!" I say "I'll handle this." I pull out my phone and, holding my gun app ready, approach the troops.

Jungle camo clad, each soldier sports an AK47. One with steps forward, waving his rifle. "You have something we want" "Very impressive gun."

"You know what Freud would say." "It's your funeral." "He would say 'It's your penis.'" He takes aim. I press my gun app's virtual trigger.

His cell phone chimes. He lowers his rifle and takes it out to receive the text message sent from my app. It says "BANG!" "What the hell?"

(The Twitter Mystery continues daily at @Twitstery)

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