"Wait!" I shout "I need to speak to one of
your directors!" There is a brief pause and then the IVR says "Why
didn't you say that before?"
"You never offered the option." A pause. "Press 1 for Dr. Dot. Press 2 for Dr. Dash." So Dot and Dash still co-directed Body Parts R Us.
When I last saw Dot and Dash, properly Dr. Dot and Dr. Dash,
they locked horns poetically over who was the true head of Body Parts R Us.
Trading assonants like schoolyard brawlers, the docs went
from bad to verse. I revoked their poetic licentiousness with an ill-chosen
word.
Don't get me wrong. Like any mixed metaphor hardboiled
gumshoe, I scan poetry a couplet at a time and I like it long, lean and
onomatopoeic.
Dot and Dash took it a quatrain too far. Dash thought
teasing his rival by rhyming his speech would force him out. Dot resisted the
muse.
On the chance Dash might still rhyme, I press 1.
"Yes?" "Dr. Dot? Arkaby here. We met back during the Granger
affair." "I remember you."
"What is it, Arkaby? "I just received a very
interesting message." "And after all this time you couldn't wait to
call me up and tell me?"
"What would you say if I told you Willum Granger
delivered it?" "Were you conducting a séance?" "No. It was
a message without a medium."
"Was Granger delivering his message in corpus delicti
or was it his spirit come back from the beyond?" "That's what I'm
trying to find out."
"I think the spirits you presently are involved with
having nothing to do with the afterlife.” "One man's present is another's
hereafter."
"It's been great catching up with you. Good luck on
your spirit quest." "Wait. I have a question about a different kind
of corpus delicti."
"Can we do this another time? Our IVR system is giving
us trouble." "I noticed. Have you built any Granger clones out of his
spare parts?"
"What?" "I just encountered Granger's body
double. Did your lab rats reconstruct him from parts at hand?"
"Cloning doesn't work that way."
"We produce clones to replace or improve body parts,
not to reconstruct a whole human being." "So you're saying clones
don't make the man?"
"I'm categorically denying we created a clone of Willum
Granger. I don't know who you just saw, but it wasn't him." "It was
like his twin."
"Well either you saw a ghost or perhaps Granger himself
time travelled to the present." "Time travel? Seriously? Why waste my
time on time?
"If Granger
could time travel why would he come to me? Why wouldn't he go save Socrates or
prevent the Library of Alexandria from burning?"
"I'd be happy if he stopped your grandfather from
meeting your grandmother." "Too late for that. Time travel just isn't
what it used to be."
"But that’s all waters under the timebridge. You're lying
about creating a clone of Granger. What about the copy in your Genetics
Museum?"
Regi and I had stumbled into the Body Parts R Us Genetics
Museum during our exploration of their possible connection to Granger's murder.(The Twitter Mystery continues daily at @Twitstery)
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