Here are Week 120 @Twitstery tweets of The Golden Parachute, the amazing new sequel to Executive Severance!
"How are you calling me twice?" The phone says "Yes. Explain that!" I heard Regi arguing. "Regi?" Another woman's voice said "Who is this?"
It was Rachel Lechar, Regi's mother. The phone said "Listening…" "Huh?" "Hmm… I'm not familiar with this song." I heard Rachel press keys.
"Now who is this?" "It's Detective Arkaby." Off the phone Rachel said "It's Arkaby for you." I said "Hello phone?" Regi said "It's me."
"Why isn't the phone talking anymore?" "I don't know. Mom, what did you do?" What indeed. I wasn't happy with anyone fooling with my phone.
I heard muffled voices on Regi's end. "Arkaby, how can we be sure the phone agent is offline?" Why did that matter? "We can't. Come get me."
"But if it's eavesdropping?" Eavesdropping? I didn't believe that could happen. Phones don't drop from eaves. "I don't care. Come get me."
"How are you calling a second time?" "A borrowed quarter. Does it matter? I spent the night in jail. I've been before a judge. Come get me."
A voice said "Deposit 25 cents to continue." "Ah!" Had my two-bits run out that fast? Before I was cut off I had to get one message to Regi.
Regi said "Is that the cellphone assistant?" I had seconds to speak. "That was the pay phone operator. Quick! Come get me. Bring pants!"
"What happened to your pants?" "It's a long story. Bring something." "I'm on my way." The phone line goes dead. My two bits are used up.
I returned to my cell where someone had left a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a juice box for me. I was so hungry I ate them anyway.
I was looking around for another sandwich when Regi walked into the cell looking like a million bucks. She carried something under her arm.
"Hey Regi! You're a sight for sore eyes." She gave me hug and said "You're a mess. What happened?" "I've been in jail." I began to shiver.
Regi said "You're freezing. Put these on." I noticed writing printed on the seat of the pants. "You brought me sweatpants that say 'Juicy'?"
"That's OK. They've never been worn." "That's not what I'm worried about." With misgivings I pulled them on. Regi said "Juicy!" "Not funny."
On our way out of lockup I retrieved my wallet, keys and other pocket stuff. As we descended the Courthouse steps Rixey stepped in our path.
He shoved papers into my hands. I said "What's this?" "Your termination papers. See you in court, Juicy." Regi said "You can't do this!"
I touched Regi's arm. "I'll handle this." We stood face to face. "Rixey, you can't terminate me while my case is pending." "I can and do."
"You're already under suspension. You're out no matter what happens with your case." Rixey knew my union wouldn't permit this. "We'll see."
I noticed Regi furiously tapping on my phone. "Regi, are you still tweeting?" "Yes." "I want a record. Tweet this." "I am." I was reassured.
Rixey said "Birdbrains of a feather tweet together" and walked away flapping his arms. Regi asked "Where to now Arkaby?" Where to indeed!
(The Twitter Mystery continues daily at @Twitstery)