Here are Week 115 @Twitstery tweets of The Golden Parachute, the amazing new sequel to Executive Severance!
"During his last cloning procedure you were lead surgeon. Didn't you use fast-dissolving sutures around his middle to close him up?" "No."
"Then didn't you change his cell ringtone to 'Call to Post' so when it rang his bottom half ran off leaving his top behind?" "Ridiculous!"
"You TOLD me you did that before you shoved Regi and me into that freezer." "That's not how I remember it." I suddenly realized the truth.
I was freezing! Don't they heat these cells at night? Draping my torn shirt over my shoulders I said "A, are you playing me?" "Playing you?"
"Are you robotically denying everything I say?" "No." "You just denied what I said again." "No, I didn't." It was going to be a long night.
A settled beside me, closing his eyes. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined I'd be spending jail time with my former nemesis.
One justly convicted of murdering of Willum Granger. The other falsely accused of killing his brother, Farley. We would make quite a selfie.
A had misused his Police Coroner status to cover up his heinous crime. He had broken his Hippocratic Oath by bringing harm to his patient.
I knew where, how and when he did it. I still didn't know why. What was A's real beef with Willum Granger? This was my chance to find out.
Quietly, so I didn’t disturb my fellow inmates I whispered "Hey A! Tell me again why you were driven to murder Willum Granger." No response.
I tried again "A! This is a chance to justify yourself!" A began snoring. "A!" "Zzzz." A joined the chorus of snoring and muffled breathing.
What had A said before tossing us in the freezer? "It was necessary." As Coroner A had controlled the evidence, subverting my investigation.
It made perfect sense! No wonder A bested me. He must have seen my Twitter posts as manna from heaven. Maybe I should switch to Snapchat.
As he forced Regi and me into the Morgue freezer, A denied he had done it for love or money. Out of options, I had asked my final question:
"A, why did you kill Granger?" "Granger took his augmentation too far." Then A made a reference to a man becoming a god which I didn't get.
Granger cloned and replaced every part of his body to become superman. His doppelgänger implied it was to combat a pending paradigm shift.
I was on the cusp of an epiphany! A executed Granger to prevent his eminent ascension. Farley was killed warning of an immanent Singularity.
Am I walking into eternity along Sandymount strand? Crush crack crick crick. Open your eyes now. I will. One moment. Has all vanished since?
Eureka! Suddenly a lightbulb went BINK above my head. The cell doors swung open as a guard wheeled in a breakfast cart. I had fallen asleep.
"Breakfast!" the guard called. As my fellow inmates gathered for their individual cereal boxes, milk cartons and apples I tried to stand.
While I slept someone pulled my pants down to my ankles. Why would they do that? I toppled and struck my head on the bench in front of me.
(The Twitter Mystery continues daily at @Twitstery)