Sunday, January 25, 2015

Juicy! — Tweeted Mystery "The Golden Parachute" Continues

Here are Week 105 @Twitstery tweets of The Golden Parachute, the amazing new sequel to Executive Severance!

Mom comes over and says "Who are you talking to?" "Arkaby called and his phone started talking to us." "The phone?” “Yes.” “Give it to me."

"Who is this? Huh? Just a minute." She touches the screen several times. "Now who is this?" She hands the phone back. "It's Arkaby for you."

Arkaby says "Hello phone?" "It's me." "Why isn't the phone talking anymore?" "I don't know. Mom, what did you do?" "I turned it off." “Ah.”

How can I be sure the phone assistant is really off? It could be playing dumb, lurking and taking in everything I say. I could get paranoid.

"Arkaby, how can we be sure the phone agent is offline?" "We can't. Come get me." "But if it's eavesdropping?" "I don't care. Come get me."

"How are you calling a second time?" "A borrowed quarter. Does it matter? I spent the night in jail. I've been before a judge. Come get me."

"Deposit 25 cents to continue." "Ah!" "Is that the cellphone assistant?" "That was the pay phone operator. Quick! Come get me. Bring pants!"

"What happened to your pants?" "It's a long story. Bring something." "I'm on my way." Arkaby hangs up. I say "Are you still there?" Silence.

I grab a pair of pants, kiss Mom goodbye and I'm off. Pulling out of the driveway, I knock over our mailbox. I shouldn't tweet and drive.

At the City Lockup I find a near-naked Arkaby, cooling his heels (and probably the rest of his body), in a grungy looking holding cell.

The Desk clerk is busy with paperwork. I say to the Desk Clerk. "How much for bail?"The clerk says "No bail." "You mean he can't get out?"

"The Judge released him without bail." He nods toward Arkaby's cell. "He won't leave the way he is." "You mean in his undies?" "Yeah."

He spots my bundle. "Oh good you brought clothing. Maybe we can spring him now." "Why did you strip him?" "We didn't. I'll let him tell it."

He presses a button to unlock Arkaby's cell. "Go ahead, it's open.." he says "I can't leave this desk." I walk up to the cell. "Hey Arkaby!"

He looks awful. Purplish bruises shine from one cheek. His hair is disheveled, his eyes bloodshot. He wears nothing but a tank T and boxers

He gets to his feet. "Hey Regi! You're a sight for sore eyes." I give him a quick hug. "You're a mess. What happened?" "I've been in jail."

Arkaby shivers. "You're freezing. Put these on." He holds the pants up and reads the back. "You brought me sweatpants that say 'Juicy'?"

"That's OK. They've never been worn." "That's not what I'm worried about." Nonetheless, he puts the pants on. I say "Juicy!" "Not funny."

Arkaby retrieves his belongings and we leave the Detention Complex. Rixey meets us on the steps outside. He hands Arkaby a set of papers.

"What's this?" Rixey smirks and then puts on a serious face. "Your termination papers. See you in court, Juicy." I say "You can't do this!"

Arkaby says "I'll handle this. Rixey, you can't terminate me while my case is pending." "I can and do. You're already under suspension."

(The Twitter Mystery continues daily at 

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