Sunday, December 7, 2014

The Gift of Death! — Tweeted Mystery "The Golden Parachute" Continues

Here are Week 98 @Twitstery tweets of The Golden Parachute, the amazing new sequel to Executive Severance!

"NO, I DON'T BELIEVE IN GHOSTS BUT I KNOW HOW TO MAKE ONE! NOW BACK OFF! Sorry about that." "Are you OK?" "Just a little prison banter."

"Did someone hit you in the head?" "No. I know now it wasn't any of them who sent me on this quest." "Who was it?" "I still don't know."

"To continue please deposit twenty five cents." "I've got to hang up." "You haven't answered my question." "Which is?" "Why am I tweeting?"

There's a 'CLICK' and we're cut off. "ARKABY! GOD DAMN IT! WHY AM I TWEETING?" No response. Crap.

I've circled the hall again. I'm at the entrance to Farley's not-so-safe Safe Room. Dr. Dot stands there in heated conversation with Rixey.

Rixey says "What happened to Granger's body?" Dot says "You're looking at it." Rixey scans the room. "I see his blood. Where's the rest?"

Dot indicates the pink colored interior. "That's just it. He's all there." "That's not possible. You're telling me his body disappeared?"

"No. His body has been reduced to its constituent molecules." "What could do that?" "I don't know." I say "I know. A focused particle beam."

Dot says "Farley's body was deconstructed by a particle accelerator?" "It's the only possible explanation. He became post-structural."

"One problem. We don't have a cyclotron here." "There's no chance Farley was deconstructed elsewhere and then spread out over here?" "No."

I say to Rixey. "Are you seriously charging Arkaby with this crime?" "He had the means and the motive." "Arkaby has a particle accelerator?"

"We haven't yet figured out how he did it, but we will." "You have a real problem." "Yes, but I'm dealing with it." "I don't think you are."

"After I bail Arkaby out he'll find the real murderer and make you look like a fool." Rixey pulls out his wallet and hands me a dollar bill.

"What's this?" "My donation to Arkaby's bail. It's wrapped around my card for when you dump him and want better." "I thought you were gay!"

Rixey pulls back his hand. "I see you can't be bribed. My compliments on your loyalty to a losing cause." "F%#k you!" "You had your chance."

As I step up to Rixey, Dot steps between us. "This is a crime scene and a contamination area. If you are going to tango, take it outside."

Dot whispers "What are you doing? If you attack him he'll arrest you! Then where will you be?" "He can't arrest me!" Rixey says "Yes I can."

Dot is right. I can see why Arkaby dislikes this creep. His only chance is to get out of jail and find the real killer. It's up to me.

Rixey isn't worth the tweet. I turn and bump my recently injured arm into a thin little man with a sharp nose. "Ow! How does Arkaby do it?"

Ow! With mny left arn unjured, I hjave to twert one-handed. It's the Cvoncierge. "What are you doin?""Waitng to reclaim Farleys safe room."

Maybe shorter twrets will be easierr. "What will you do with it?"!"

The Conxierge says "Hose it down, sterilize it and then tear it apart to make more bed space."

"Can you do that to a vrime scenr?"

(The Twitter Mystery continues daily at @Twitstery)

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