Proposed program for event at The Mysterious Bookshop, March 28, 6:30 PM

Working on the program for my March 28 reading and book signing at The Mysterious Bookshop, 58 Warren Street, New York, NY.

I've never done this before so I've identified the following possible activities:
1. Introductions - I will present myself and my immediate family, pets and entourage.
2. Bob for apples - I'm all for 'em!
3. How I got here - with maps and detailed subway directions
4. Exchange of rare gifts - bring a small item.
5. Feats of strength - it's not just for Festivus anymore
6. Annoying reading from Executive Severance - I intend to use a high, whinny voice
7. Ritual animal slaughter - to propitiate the Gods
8. Q&Q - I will answer any questions with another question
9. Closing - we should leave the Mysterious Bookshop before we're shut in for the night.

Any suggestions?