Here are Week 124 @Twitstery tweets of The Golden Parachute, the amazing new sequel to Executive Severance!
He continues reading "'Though Reality is not copy protected, fair use stipulations still apply. Use for educational purposes…What the hell?"
"The ERUPT Manual isn't what brought us back. It was my Twitter feed." "What?" "We tried to find an answer in the Manual. Nothing worked."
"But when I reviewed my Twitter feed suddenly we returned to the 21st century." "Do you know what that means?" "Social Media run our lives?"
Stuart shakes his head. "No" "Twitter makes us stupid?" "No!" "Facebook friendships are weak?" "No!" "Twitter fiction is an oxymoron?" "NO!"
Regi says "Whatever is changing reality can't affect social media?" "Or doesn't want to. You came back by reviewing your Twitter history."
The truth hits me like a swift gut punch. "Stuart, you faked your death with one of Willum's cloned heads." He looks at me pensively. "Yes."
"It wasn't you at all." "Yes, it was no part of me." "When you first came to my office you knew I'd mistake you for Willum Granger." "Yes."
"Why did you do that?" "To get your attention. I assumed you could put two and two together and deduce I was Willum's brother, not a ghost."
"Obviously I couldn't." "Obviously." "Then you sent me to find Regi. Why did you do that?" "She needed rescuing." Regi says "No I didn't."
"Arkaby rescued you in the nick of time from a disaster befalling your university." "Arkaby WAS the disaster that befell my university!"
I say "Your school was a medical diploma mill trafficking in stolen cadavers that located to the Caribbean to avoid regulative oversight."
"They got the disaster they deserved." Regi says "I'm not saying they didn't deserve your disaster. I'm saying I didn't need rescuing!"
Stuart says "What stolen cadavers?" "While rescuing Regi I stumbled upon Willum Granger's body in an anatomy lab, prepped for dissection."
"His whole body?" "Yes. Someone put Humpty together again." "Willum died four years ago. How was his body still intact?" "We don't know."
Regi says "Dr. Dot's autopsy at Body Parts R Us showed Dad's cells are no longer digestible by the usual decomposition microbes." "Why not?"
"Turning DNA into palindromes makes it taste bad to putrefaction proponents." Stuart sits an armchair, a worried expression on his face.
He says "This is worse than I thought!" Regi sits beside him and takes his hand. "Which part of this is worse Uncle Stuart?" "All of it."
"I thought if we could unravel the mystery of Willum's self-cloning palindrome fixation we would discover the solution to the Singularity."
"Now it appears that all he accomplished was to leave immortal remains." I say "That's not it at all. I know what Granger was trying to do."
Both turn towards me with expressions of surprise and disbelief on their faces. Regi says "You do?" Stuart says "YOU do?" I say "Yes. I do."
"Let's examine the facts we know. #1: Granger replaced every part of his body with a DNA-modified clone for no apparent reason." "Granted."
The Twitter Mystery continues daily at @Twitstery !
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